


We Can Make it Through the Night

by immortalpramheda



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, One Shot, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21843664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalpramheda/pseuds/immortalpramheda
Summary: Rey wakes up in the middle of the night and finds him there.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	We Can Make it Through the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Post TLJ one shot where Rey and Ben connect for the first time in months.

A faint sound wakes Rey up from her dreams. Not that her dreams were anything groundbreaking, if anything they were full of darkness. Nothingness. Hopelessness. Ever since that day on Crait, they’d never changed. It made sleep hard and not something she looked forward to. So she is thankful for any kind of distraction.

She’s alone in her chambers. Lonely, as she always has been. But they were respectful of her privacy. In all honestly, the reason she wanted to be alone was in case he showed up. But, several months later, he hadn’t yet.

The sounds are small, almost silent, but it sounds like someone sobbing. At first she thinks it’s Leia, it wouldn’t be the first time she’d found her weeping over all she’d lost. She tries to keep her composure measured in public, but when she’s alone the tears come. Rey had comforted her many times. She could understand, she’d felt their losses almost as much as she had. But it couldn’t be Leia, her chambers are on the other side of the base.

She slowly gets up and closes her eyes, focussing on the sound and letting her senses guide her to where it’s coming from. She takes a few careful steps along and when she opens her eyes, the source comes into view. She stops short. After all this time, _now_ he finally shows up.

He’s crouched on the ground, curled up into a ball. The sounds are coming from him. He’s crying. Not subtly, full on weeping. He doesn’t see her yet so she takes a few steps closer.

“Ben,” she says.

He lifts his head up, startled by her voice. His face is tearstained and red, although he looks somewhat relieved to see her. But then anger takes over as he stands up. “I am the _Supreme Leader_ of the First Order, and these are my _private_ chambers!!” he roars.

She takes a step back, but she’s not afraid. He’d lashed out at her before. It didn’t scare her. It said more about him than her. “Are you okay?”

Nothing but care in her voice takes him aback. He hastily wipes his eyes and turns around. “Go away.”

“I can’t control when we connect,” she says. “When we do connect, it’s _always_ for a reason. Ben—”

“Stop _calling_ me that!!!” he yells, turning around and coming closer so his face is level with hers. “I _killed_ Ben Solo.” But the look in his eyes betrays that. He’d failed to kill that identity, they both know that.

He’s wearing a loose fitted short sleeved shirt, and her eyes are drawn to his arms. There are wounds, with fresh blood and dried, scattered all over. And scars. So many scars.

“You’re hurt,” she observes, trying to reach out and touch him, but he takes a step back.

His lip quivers. He looks the way he did in the elevator on the Supremacy. She can sense the conflict within in, if only he’d let someone else in instead of trying to deny it. Instead of trying to push it away. The wounds, they’re fresh. And it doesn’t look like he got them in battle - they look self inflicted.

She meets his eyes. “Did you do that to yourself?”

His lip stops quivering as a look of unstable confidence takes over his face. “Pain leads to power.”

The teachings of the dark side, which she knew was false. “No, pain leads to _suffering_. Ben, you’re suffering, I can _feel_ it.”

“I’m not.” He turns away from her and crouches over slightly, his sobs reverberating through his body.

She circles around to him so she can see his face. He doesn’t make a move. “It doesn’t have to be like this. My offer still stands. I’ll _help_ you, if you’ll let me.”

He looks up at her. So vulnerable. So broken. “No one is supposed to see me like this. _You’re_ not supposed to see me like this. I am the _Supreme Leader_ —“

“I understand,” she says calmly. He felt stuck. Trapped. He didn’t know how to get out. “But you’re not where you’re meant to be. Why have we connected now? Ben, tell me why we’ve connected _right_ at this moment? Because we _need_ each other. We can help each other heal. I believe that. Your mother—“

“Do not—“ he pauses, unable to continue as more tears form in his eyes. “She doesn’t want me back, not after what I’ve done. It’s too late.”

“It’s not.” She reaches her hand out, as she did all those months ago on Ahch-To. “You can still come back.”

He doesn’t reach out for hers. His wound covered arms begin to tremble. She pulls back as she feels anger pulsing through his veins. She feels the power of what he’s capable of but she doesn’t feel scared. He needs to let it out. Let the frustrations, the pain, the anger, let it _all_ out.

She stands still and closes her eyes as he grabs his lightsaber, the sound of it igniting echoing through her ears. She can hear the destruction he’s causing. She can sense the hatred and pain. But she stands still, calm, and trusts that it will be okay.

He was stubborn, but she would just need to be patient. She’s good at waiting. He’d come back on his own. They’ve been connected for a reason. To help. To heal. To bring balance.

Everything goes silent. When she opens her eyes, he’s gone. Their connection broken. But she is hopeful that their conversation had an impact on him.

As Leia likes to say, _“Hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you'll never make it through the night.”_

And Rey believes that about her son too. Even though they hadn’t connected for months, she’d never lost that hope. And seeing him now just reignited that belief that he would one day come back to the light.


End file.
